I hate to break it to you but it’s true. Though, thou may protest much, and though the idea of it may defy every notion of freedom you believe in, there is, in fact, a supreme dictator and that dictator has complete control of your life.
What’s more is that even though we dislike the idea of our individual freedoms being taken, we protest very little of the actual rules that this dictator imposes on us and, in truth, often welcome them.
And I’ll prove it. Continue reading
I don’t know quite how to say this, we’ve been together so long, but lately over the last several days…I’m just not feelin’ it.
No, this isn’t some kind of break up notice, for we’ve been through too much together for that. And we’ve had some pretty amazing times.
This isn’t a crisis of faith – though I’ve said I’m “losing my religion,” my belief and trust in you is stronger than ever.
You’ve not done anything recently to offend me. You’ve not thrown me under the bus. You’ve not cheated on me nor lied to me nor wreaked any personal major havoc.
It’s not that I have some theological issue with your allowance of suffering and such; you and I have worked our way through that. It’s not that I’m troubled about seeming contradictions I’ve read; we’ve talked about those, too.
You and I have had knock down fights before and moments where I’ve nearly walked away. I’ve screamed at you and cursed as well and nearly thrown in the towel. But it’s not quite like that at all this time.
It’s just that my feelings for you, over really even the last couple weeks, can best be described as…meh. Continue reading
There’s a classic theorem out there that compares the creation of the universe to putting typewriters in a room full of monkeys.
On one end of the spectrum are those that contend that given enough time, say billions or even an infinite number of years, the monkeys randomly pecking away at the keys will eventually type out the complete works of Shakespeare.
On the other end of the spectrum are those that argue that after even billions (or even infinite) tries of hitting on the typewriter, the monkeys might be able to accidentally type up some words, or maybe even a complete sentence, but the chances of typing up even one actual Shakespearean play are insurmountable Continue reading
One of my more memorable experiences with the “supernatural” or the “miraculous” occurred early in my Christian walk. I was struggling with some overwhelming issues late one night when I heard God tell me to “go out to the church and pray.”
This was not just any church; it was a beautiful church that sat up on a hill overlooking Lake Travis in Austin. Ironically, I had never actually attended this church, but had several times gone out there to pray, sitting in my car in the parking lot. It was also the very parking lot (as shared in 2 of my previous posts: “Why I Was Kicked Out of Vacation Bible School” and “Losing My Religion”) where for the first time I heard the “voice” of God.
Now God was calling me back to that same place, presumably to hear his voice again. Continue reading
So here’s the truth: the god that I have believed in for much of my life does not exist. Yes, it’s true. And there’s a good chance that the god you have believed in does not exist either.
But let me explain a little bit about this god I have believed in:
First, this god that I have believed in does not allow suffering…well, maybe he does for others, especially bad people and those who live in other parts of the world, but certainly not for me. But this god obviously does not exist because I have definitely experienced my share of suffering – maybe not nearly as bad as others, but enough to occasionally make my life miserable and difficult at times…and much of it since I became a believer. And anything less than the most comfortable existence for me is certainly too much; so my god of “no suffering” does not exist. Continue reading
This is yet another unplanned post, but as I’ve reflected a lot on my 4 a.m. post (as well as some of the others) I thought I would share. Many responded through comments on the blog, Facebook or through private messages offering words of support and prayer. As a result, in the midst of what our family has been going through I felt deeply strengthened and encouraged because the overall message I received was, “You are not alone.”
Not alone, first, because so many were willing to come alongside my family in a time of struggle. Being transparent can be a scary thing – so it means a lot when afterwards, instead of receiving the condemnation we often manage to convince ourselves we’re going to get, we receive words more along the lines of “I understand” and “I am with you.”
But not alone also because several responded with their own personal stories of struggle, letting me know that I’m not alone in this mess. In fact, after receiving several comments and private messages since starting this blog and, after having been throughout the years a part of so many different men’s groups, home groups, and various other relationships where inevitably others begin to confess the mess in their lives, I’ve become convinced of one thing: we all have our stuff. We all have messes. Continue reading