Honestly Thinking

Honestly thinking (& rethinking) about God, the universe, and everything in between

Tag: shame

Dude, Seriously, She’s Just Not That Into You

OK, guys, so there’s this 2004 book called He’s Just Not That Into You, popular with women because it exposed the lies they often tell themselves in order to be in relationships with jerk men.

With the recent wave of sexual assault and harassment allegations against so many prominent men, it’s obvious there are also lies men tell themselves, causing them to act horrifically stupid toward women and girls.

With the trending of #MeToo, it’s also clear the problem isn’t just famous men – it’s a whole bunch of you “regular” guys, too.

If you are one of those guys, I’m not quite sure how to get this through your thick skull, as I’m not sure if it’s because you’re brain dead or you just don’t care, but this notion that she somehow “likes it” is a bunch of crock. She doesn’t.

So let me just tell you man to man…or perhaps in this case, man to boy…dude, seriously, she’s just not that into you.

  • She works for you or is trying to get hired. With a few flirtatious hints you think she’ll be impressed by your power. While it’s true she might be intimidated a bit by your force, in the end she’ll just think of you as weak and pathetic. She’s there to get a paycheck and she’s just not that into you.
  • You’re at a gas station and see an attractive woman all alone pumping gas. You decide to randomly approach her with “smooth” verbiage about her looks. What you see is a girl fawning over your flattering words. What she sees is some scary, pervert coming at her, and debates about pouring gas on you and lighting a match. She’s there to get fuel and she’s just not that into you.

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Jesus and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Woman Caught in Adultery (as told by the church)

Most of you are probably familiar with the story of Jesus and the woman caught in adultery, but there is an alternate version of this story that is often told by many in the church. Though they may not use these exact words – for it is usually in actions, misplaced theology, or thoughts – it is told, nonetheless.

And whether it is intentional or unintentional or a problem with what was communicated or the filters we receive it through, it is the story all too often heard.

The following is that version:

Jesus and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Woman Caught in Adultery (as told by the church)

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We Should be Naked: Why Religion is a Symptom and Not the Solution

Bouguereau, The First Mourning, ca. 1888

Back in 1974, Ray Stevens released a popular song titled “The Streak” about a guy running around town naked. At the time, as a 6-year-old kid, I thought it was just the funniest thing – and so apparently did millions of other people, putting it at # 8 for the whole year on the Billboard charts (weird…yeah, I know).

I guess the idea of people running around in the buff in public just made us all snicker.

Modesty is such a weird thing for us humans, especially in Western culture. With debates about public breastfeeding and yoga pants juxtaposed against Victoria’s Secret signs and popular TV programs that show a lot of skin, it is clear we don’t have any real consensus on exactly what is “too much.”

But it gets even weirder when I tell you this:

We’re all supposed to be naked.

Yes, seriously.

It’s even scriptural.

Now don’t be jumping to conclusions here and think I’m advocating we all start trotting around in the literal footsteps of Ray Stevens’ song. I’m not.

But it’s right there in the Bible and is something that even the most prudish followers know but don’t care to admit. Continue reading

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